Indescribable

Oh well, it’s been a while I didn’t write. Every night I log in, check out my blog and think what to write and everytime I fail to produce anything. So, I gave up. As usual, browse through my hard drive looking for videos to upload. No photos to share at the moment since I have been so lazy and inactive. Consequence to that, I missed out autumn. I do not have a single photo of autumn at all. How sad is that. Am I still being myself? The one who loves and crazy with cameras and stuff. Take it everywhere I go and never stop snapping. Yes I am… I think so. Am I a bit lost? I wish I knew. Oh God… help me please.

I did not have any intention to write tonight but my heart suddenly whispered something. My fingers automatically on the keyboard ready to begin typing. But my brain is not functioning at all. I don’t even know what I am typing right now. If this ever happened to you, could you please let me know what kind of decease am I having at the moment? Because I know this post is going to be flat, nothing but text. It is not interesting at all and bloody boring but I’m still continue writing. This is not for the sake of updating my blog. Ah… what is this then?

I hate this feeling. I bloody hate it. I wish I could run away from it but I know I cannot escape from it. The feeling that is indescribable. So hard to say it out loud but can’t stand it if you keep it. Feel like hopeless, useless, nothing is more painful than you, yourself. What is waiting me in the future? Good news? Bad news? I wish the “Oracle” had the answers. If good news, I will be smiling. If bad news, I will smile as well but maybe in tears. I wonder who am I and what would I be if “she” is still around.

Sometimes I wonder when you’re being nice, unconsciously are you actually being stupid? So, if you’re being too nice that means you’re being unconsciously too stupid aren’t you? You thought you were nice but you are actually stupid. How pathetic is that? The unreportable mental activities. Funny to say but that’s what I thought sometimes. Only God knows what’s going on in my mind at the present time…

Faris